aside Here’s The Epitome Of What Has Gone Wrong With How Some Churches Treat Women

Paige Patterson speaks at the Southern Baptist Convention in Phoenix on June 14, 2017. (Adelle M. Banks/RNS)

If there a church that I would advise any young women to run away from faster than a speeding bullet would be any religious organization associated with a Paige Patterson, president of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.

Let’s be clear. Submitting to one’s husband (as per Southern Baptist Theology) does not mean that a woman has to endure physical, mental abuse, serial adultery, pedophilia, etc. that is a danger to a woman’s and/or her children’s well being. Frankly the churches associated with this leader would do much better to teach the men in its congregations how to treat the women in their lives with greater dignity and respect.

What century are we living in where women are expected to be treated as objects?

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Here are the bible passages that the Southern Baptist would refer to to bolster its theology but what seems to be missing with Mr. Patterson is the rest of the story, or in this case, the passages verse 25-33 where it states in short, ” Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Ephesians 5:22-33 New International Version (NIV)

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

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Here is the rest of the story…

On May 7, 2018, Sarah Pulliam Bailey of the Washington Post penned the following report, “Southern Baptist women denounce leader’s ‘objectifying’ comments, advice to abused women”


“More than 1,000 Southern Baptist women have signed an open letter to the trustees of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary that says they are “grieved by the dangerous and unwise counsel” that the group’s president, Paige Patterson, has given by telling abused women not to divorce, and are shocked by his comments that “objectify a teenage girl.”

“These comments are damaging, sinful, and necessitate a decisive response,” the women wrote in a letter published Sunday afternoon.”

“These women, who include several influential writers and speakers, are not pushing theological boundaries within the Southern Baptist Convention. The letter says they affirm Southern Baptist views that only men are allowed to be pastors and that women are to submit themselves to their husbands.”

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“Patterson, whose comments from 2000 went viral last weekend, doubled down on his remarks after the seminary’s commencement ceremony Friday, telling The Washington Post that he has nothing for which to apologize. He could not be reached immediately Sunday night for comment about the letter.”

“The women highlighted comments he made in a sermon in which he described a 16-year-old girl walking by, saying that “she was nice.” One young man commented, “Man, is she built.” A woman scolded him, and Patterson said he responded to the woman, “Ma’am, leave him alone. He’s just being biblical.” The audience laughed. In their letter, the women especially highlight the “inappropriate nature of his own observations of her body.”

“Patterson is revered within the Southern Baptist Convention for helping orchestrate a conservative takeover of the denomination decades ago, and he is scheduled to deliver a sermon at the convention’s annual meeting next month in Dallas. Some leaders are in panic mode about what that honor could communicate about how Southern Baptist women are treated.”

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“Perhaps the most surprising of Patterson’s 2000 remarks is a story he shared about woman who came to him about abuse, and he told her to pray for God to intervene. The woman, he said, came to him later with two black eyes. “She said: ‘I hope you’re happy.’ And I said, ‘Yes … I’m very happy,’ ” because her husband had heard her prayers and come to church for the first time the next day.”

“The current president of the SBC, Steve Gaines, has not addressed those remarks or returned repeated requests for comment. Two Southwestern graduates who spoke on the condition of anonymity said Gaines appeared on Southwestern’s campus Friday to show support for Patterson.”

Pastor Steve Gaines


Once again, my sweet & wise wife, @donnadgaines, has nailed it with this post!! Southern Baptists are biting and fussing when we should be praying and weeping. Start talking directly to people, not about them. Turn down the rhetoric and turn up the prayers! 

 “A tweet Gaines published Saturday appeared to respond to how Patterson’s comments have taken off on social media. “Southern Baptists are biting and fussing when we should be praying and weeping,” he wrote. “Start talking directly to people, not about them.”
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“Patterson also received support from former SBC president Johnny Hunt. Dwight McKissic, a black Southern Baptist pastor who has been in the middle of high-profile conversations surrounding race in the SBC, wrote a piece suggesting Patterson should not be disqualified from his role or sermon at the convention based on his comments alone.”

“Meanwhile, Nathan Montgomery, a PhD student in the philosophy program at the seminary who was fired after he was tweeted a post from blogger Ed Stetzer suggesting Patterson retire, has sent an appeal to the trustees. Montgomery asked that the record of his dismissal be changed to “voluntarily resigned,” a positive job reference from his supervisor, written acknowledgment from the administration that explicitly clarifies there was no cause and the board repudiates the list of the reasons he was fired.”

Link to article: objectifying’ comments, advice to abused women 


    • Dear David Prosser,

      It looks like at least some peoples are pushing back. Young peoples belonging to organized religion is a lowest numbers ever and it is no wonder. I would not want any young person buying into this garbage.

      Hugs, Gronda


  1. Gronda, this is obviously troubling, but I applaud the women standing up to religious misogyny. A true story comes to mind that I shared in an earlier post. A female colleague was being beaten by her husband and went to her
    minister. He asked her to invite her husband in and he would meet with both of them. She reluctantly agreed.

    While there, the minister turned on the woman and said it was her fault her husband was beating her.

    This made me ill. Fortunate she left this man and found a new church. Abusers do not tend to change. If she stayed with him, she may be dead. And, that minister would be an accomplice to murder.

    I have worked with some of the finest people who were ministers helping those in need. I am also aware of ministers who are less giving of themselves or who practice bigotry from the pulpit. Here is something I want people to remember – just because someone is a minister does not mean they are not full of it. If a minister is not what you aspire one to be, find another church.


    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Keith,

      I had been visiting my son in Denver where I attended the church services that he and his family attended. It just so happens that at one service, the pastor preached on this very topic.

      He was a little off on this topic but not like Page Robinson, but my son and others were able to offer feedback in a constructive way. This is a healthy church that allows for this.

      Churches consist of people and finding one that is perfect is a fool’s errand. But I keep talking about the fruit. Where are its spending priorities? Does it sponsor programs for the poor etc?

      I would walk out of any church where the preacher dared to say the above, demonize groups of peoples like our gay brothers and sisters or Catholics (both of which I have personally heard). Any Church that would give a mulligan to President Trump, I would run away from it faster than a speeding bullet.

      Hugs, Gronda


  2. Organized religion scares me at most times, but in these Trump days it is taking on a new darkness that wasn’t so visible just a short while ago. If it is now going to openly defend and even praise abusers and batterers, a religious “ragnorrok” is at hand, and none too soon. The horsemen of the apocalypse are saddling their steeds. Mt. Olympus will disappear in fire and brimstone. And Shiva the Destroyer shall soon stride upon this Earth.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Rawgod,

      I am a person of faith but I tend to be reticent to invest myself with any one church. I have tried and I am still trying.

      A lot of folks keep telling me that we are in the end times which we may be but I don’t fret or worry about it. This is beyond me to control. I do what I can in the here and now.

      Hugs, Gronda


      • Hi Gronda, (please call me rawgod, no capital)
        I wish you luck in your search for one church or religion to portray what is in your heart, but I have my doubts you will ever find one. You are simply too good for organized religion. Your body is not only your temple, but is also your church, and you carry it with you everywhere you go. Having anyone else try to tell you how to interpret what you have already understood can probably never happen, as you are not the follower type anymore. You proved that when you left the Republican Party. They rely on people believing what they are told; this is no longer you. You have your own mind, and I am very glad you do. Organized religions are like that too, authoritarians who are scar to death of free thinkers. Once you start believing in yourself before them, you are no longer under their sway, and you are able to believe what you feel is right, not what somebody wants you to believe is right.
        You may not agree with me about what I have said above, but that is your choice. Still, the strongest number in the world is 1, it is indivisible and unbreakable. Be yourself, because no one else can be you!

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